Day 15: Let Go, Let God

I've always had a problem with other people leading me. Whether in dance, school projects, small group, or relationships, I knew that the only way things would get done is if I did it. But that mentality left me overwhelmed and overburdened. I couldn't handle everything by myself! And worrying about every detail was not going to fix everything.

Audrey has lovingly reminded me about letting go and letting God. But it wasn't until this morning that I relistened to the song "Let Go" by Dewayne Woods.

The chorus goes like this:

As soon as I stop worrying
Worrying how the story ends
I'll let go and I let God
Let God have His way
That's when things start happening
I'll stop looking at back then
I let go and I'll let God have His way

When I listened to this song during sophomore year, I didn't see the immediate results of God redeeming my failures. But I trusted that He would. So what did I know then, that I forgot now?

I think I realized that even though I so desire my plans to line up with God's, His are much bigger than mine. I can't expect Him to reveal His promises before I put my full trust in Him.

Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

This isn't about God crushing our hopes and dreams, rather it is God acknowledging our desires and then blessing us with something better! Maybe I have a desire to be a dentist, a wife, and a mother someday. It is not wrong for me to want those things even if it is not in God's plans in the end. It would be wrong of me to demand them, not trusting that God knows better. When I recognize my desires and then give them to God, knowing that He doesn't have to provide them, I trust Him to do the rest.

One thing that the dental application does really well is push you to really understand why you want to be a dentist. It isn't about impressing the admissions board or giving vague optimistic answers. It truly asks if you have a legitimate passion for dentistry and all that it encompasses. So after talking to my buddies, I needed to pray about my passions and what they are.

My prayer goes like this:
Lord, teach me how to trust You. Help me to not worry about the future and the plans. Instead of focusing on the unknown, turn my mind to learning more about You and who I am in You. You know me better than I know me. You know my strengths, weaknesses, potential, passions...So I ask that You reveal to me what those are. And through this discovery of myself, please give me guidance on my career path.

Let Go. Let God.