Funny how going through Mark 1 for the 3rd time reminds me of lessons I should have learned the 1st time. I guess it sinks in more when you actually teach something.
So we wrote the definition on the board: repentance means to turn 180 degrees. I knew that the 1st time. But the 2nd year I learned that repentance was more than just being sorry. King Herod tried that but he never fully took the next step of turning. Now today after the 3rd time, I realized that I haven't turned the complete 180 degrees. Somewhere in the middle I got stuck (past the sorry part but not past the despair). I thought I would never learn my lesson if I moved on quickly- that somehow by letting go of this weight of my guilt and shame that I would sin again (as if I could control my desire for holiness by reminding me of my failings).
But God taught me today that to complete the turn (turning away from sin) I must turn towards Him. Jesus doesn't leave us in despair and self-hatred. He ends w/ hope and freedom. I have been denying my hope and freedom because I thought that's what repentance was. No! Confession and repentance have power through Jesus' sacrifice- He rose from the dead to give new life and hope. Repentance is hope.
Complete the turn. Find freedom.
